I'm so tired, but I can't sleep...

Once I got home, I tried to clean up my room but instead immediately logged onto FaceBook and procrastinated for a few hours. The smell of my wet socks and shoes started to fill the room making it a little too unbearable for me to handle, so I started to clean! Turning on the "Abercrombie & Fitch Playlist" through the website. The fun songs usually get me in the mood to clean, but not really the case tonight. I slowly feel as if my routines, my plans, hopes, dreams, my life is falling apart.

Sometimes I try to get different perspectives on things, only to be blown away by how stupid I am to realize things. I'm not looking for sympathy, I don't want it. But more so empathy, you don't have to understand what I'm going through, but just recognize that I'm going through something.

As your life unfolds, you'll slowly start to realize the distinction between plans and the sad reality. It's hard to move forward in a world without hope, with an ounce of optimism. You never want to admit failure, but then that's easy to do if you keep pretending the game is still on.

The word failure echoes itself a million times in my head. Though no one has ever called me it, I realize I've had such few accomplishments, that my life is actually overshadowed by failures.

You want to keep a certain amount of logic in order to preserve yourself but still keep the continuity of hope alive. I try to be hopeful for the future....